Well, hi, blog. (And people who read this blog—which, thanks to my inconsistent blogging & winter hiatus from most photography, probably signifies a readership of about two people.)
I'm really excited to hopefully get into blogging again, as I'll have more engagements, family, weddings, etc. to be posting. Not just that, but as spring awakens outside, I always feel that my emotions & expressions of such slowly thaw out, ready to be used again! Basically: I've been lazy. And the cold, shorter days mean more Netflix and less…being. Being present. Present in life, in movement, or in pursuing things that I love. Winter is hard like that, and good for nights inside with a book (or The 100) and many mugs of tea. But, I want more today. So...
Oh, although this space is primarily reserved as my "business space," it also serves to share about me! Because when you run a sole proprietorship, you kinda are the business in some ways. Plus, I have always loved reading the thoughts of other photographers & writers online. I'd like to be the same kind of real, genuine gal. (If you're wondering who inspires me, here is a very short list: I'm Kristen, Jamie Delaine, Hannah Brencher…just to name a few!)
I’ve been trying to write this for over an hour. Which means, I’m out of practice when it comes down to words and paper. Thoughts run rampant (this may also have to do with the iced coffee I had at lunch…) and tangents, oh, those tangents are flying!
Fear. The emotion that so many of us fight daily. We respond uniquely to it, through various actions. Recently, I’ve realized that fear leads me to hide.
Hiding can be a good thing. A bride hides until the moment she is revealed to her husband. God hides His face from us because it far too glorious for our eyes to see. But I am not God, nor a bride. I have chosen to hide out of fear. This is wrongful hiding. I hurt myself, and others, in this action.
Hiding. The action of criminals, fugitives, the shamed.
Is that what I am? Is that my identity? Is that what I want to do?
I want to be known. Don't we all?
Beautiful things are not made to hide. They belong to be displayed. A vase of flowers set out on a table for guests to enjoy, art hung in a museum to be marveled over by tired tourists. If I am a wonderful creation, insecurities and all, then I don't want to hide.
I wish this piece was more polished. That the grammar in it was correct, the thoughts cohesive. But that isn't reality today.
And, in the the practice of being genuine, and messy, and real, I'm going to publish this. Unfinished, and a little rough. Let's be real together. Not hiding or lying our way through life, but being real & genuine & honest with who we are, what we've got to offer. Each one of you, myself included, is a work in progress. We'll never be able to encourage if we don't think those around us need encouragement or help!
1 John 4:18.